Supporting Your
Own Community
Many of us that peruse their local newspaper
often ignore a bold printed appeal that encourages the reader to
patronize local businesses, social clubs, community special events
and all other activities that help enrich our quality of life. We
take rather lightly what our towns and cities have to offer. For any
community to thrive and prosper requires involvement from people of
all ages, particularly older adults that have raised their families
in these same towns.
Why is this important? the answer is rather simple. A community's
success is determined by how people identify themselves with it and
how they interact with their leaders, neighbors, and yes, the
businesses they frequent.
When you think locally everybody wins. Whether you are volunteering
your time to a homegrown organization or just patronizing your
favorite coffee shop, you are building good relationships and
fostering a trust that helps bind people together. Although
individual differences may separate us, our community should always
unite us.
When It's Time
No, I do not mean THAT time. We can leave that topic for another column
or perhaps not. The time that I am actually referring to is that time of
our lives when our homestead for many years has lost its original
purpose when purchased. Where laughter and frolic that echoed from the
many rooms and nearby backyards our children spent playing and doing
their homework has now become empty and silent.
We all know that empty nest feeling which in many cases never quite goes
away. Our homes are now filled with lots of wonderful memories,
photographs, a collection of family heirlooms as well as what I will
refer to as lots of stuff. From our cellars right up to our attics there
are just so many years of accumulated belongings laying around that we
no longer have any use for.
Maintenance inside and outside of our homes now seems to be a growing
concern. Sooner or later we come to the realization that conceivably
some changes in lifestyle might be in order. I am suggesting that
"Downsizing" might be a course of action to take in reorganizing your
life making it more manageable while at the same time reducing the
challenges of up keeping your home. Let's take a general look at how to
downsize and why it may be a good option for you.
When you live in a large home for decades, the emotional attachment has
to be overwhelming especially for older adults. Therefore, planning to
leave your home for a more accommodating living arrangement, whether for
medical, financial, or practical reasons is not always a comfortable
decision to make. Once made, space and location are crucial.
Remember all that stuff you have? Now you would have to decide what is
most important and will be going with you. Some larger possessions and
some of your extra furniture in all likelihood will have to be given
away or sold. Since you are downsizing, what you are taking with you
needs to be able to fit into your new home. Perhaps this might be a good
time to give treasured family keepsakes that have been sitting in your
garage or spare room a new home. As you go through your household
possessions try and keep a positive attitude. Such a transition in life
can engender a guilt factor that would add to the stress of moving.
As you turn the page and enter another chapter in your life, plan on
making new memories and new friends. Keep in mind that your old friends
and family are still going to visit regardless of where you live. Older
adults in recent years are beginning to recognize that downsizing is a
wise decision and are seeking more information on how to begin the
process.
I provided you with some ideas, but, if you really want to hear more,
let me offer this: A Saugus senior health care collaborative from the
Saugus Chamber of Commerce will be sponsoring a seminar on this very
topic at the Saugus Senior Center on May 1st. The sponsoring local
businesses are Geriatric Assistance Inc. Home Care, Saugus Care and
Rehabilitation Center, The Elder Law Center, and Rubin and Thompson
Assisted Living. Dave Downs will offer a humorous and light hearted view
on clutter and downsizing. It should be a very entertaining program that
I hope many of you will attend. Comedian George Carlin is quoted as
saying that " A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it"
Now is that not the truth when you think about it".
John Macauda Director/ Saugus Office Geriatric Assistance Inc.
Providing Geriatric Home Care and Senior Services in the North Shore,
Merrimack Valley, and Southern New Hampshire
Avoiding Regrets
As the traditional prime time of our lives enters new phases often
referred to as middle age or even older adult years, is it not true that
at times we reminisce about decisions made long ago that form the very
foundation of what we have become? Did we realize our full potential
towards being successful? Could we have been more committed to our
marriages, our children, other relationships or a healthier lifestyle?
Did we not master the lessons learned through living on how to earn and
give respect and more importantly how to love and be loved?
Unfortunately, too many of us find something that we did or not do that
often creates a feeling of disappointment, sadness or compunction. This
type of sentiment eventually leads us grudgingly to the conclusion that
the experience of living is quite imperfect.
Author, Kristen Otte, notes that "Those who try to live a life without
regrets are often careless, unbalanced, and reckless. Those who try to
live a life without regret struggle to learn from failure and mistakes.
They want to move on to the next thing without thinking".
Having regrets, therefore, in some perverted way, is normal. At some point
during our look back, regardless of station or age in life, it might
behoove us to reexamine some of those regrets and try and gain control
over some of those perceived failures. It is important to note that some
situations are irreversible, hence, focus must be on changes that may
limit or remove any lingering guilt or remorsefulness.
At some point we are all going to pass the baton on to our children or
someone endeared to us. Before that time arrives, and it will, would we
not be better off in redefining hindsight as an incitement to move
forward? As twilight approaches, no sweeter words can come to mind in
being able to say to oneself "I did do better".
In the second verse of the song "My Way" by Frank Sinatra it reads the
following:
Regrets, I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption.
I planned each chartered course, each careful step along the byway.
And more, much more than this, I did it my way.
The entire song is a summation of how one man chose to live his life and
how it affected him in the end. I hope you take out of it what I did. It
is never too late to say "I did it my way".
John Macauda Director/Saugus Office Geriatric Assistance Inc.
Providing Geriatric Home Care and Senior Services in the North Shore,
Merrimack Valley, and Southern New Hampshire.
Any comments to any of my columns email me at
jm@geriatricassistance.com
WELCOME TO OUR CLUB
Recently, I had the opportunity to visit Spectrum Adult Day Health
Center in North Andover. Before going, I had a general knowledge of
how beneficial a program such as Spectrums is to families that have
loved ones with memory disorders. In a previous column that I had
written about Long Term Care Options, I briefly described Adult Day Care
Center as an option in improving the quality of life for those older
adults that cannot care for themselves at home while at the same time
giving their caregivers a much needed break.
Having been impressed with the availability of such
programs that benefit those so very much in need; I decided to devote a
full column to this topic giving my readers a greater appreciation on
how important these organizations are in support of the healthcare needs
of the community. I chose Spectrum because they are a local
organizations with twenty years of service and also because they were
very gracious to me when I inquired about visiting their center.
When I arrived, I was greeted by Cheryl Wall, the Clinical Manager.
She began by explaining how the design of the inside of the facility
that includes the colors, lighting, furniture, and flooring had been
carefully selected because of the visual, special, and physical
challenges memory impaired individuals are faced with. For example, the
flooring throughout does not have a shiny finish because it may pose a
problem with depth perception. Also, bathrooms both inside and out have
a different color scheme to help make them more distinguishable. The Sun
Parlor Room had large windows emitting a great deal of sunlight that
greatly contributed to a more positive physical environment.
As we walked around, many of the members were participating
in horseshoes while others were relaxing in what they call the Serenity
Room. Each person seemed to be fully enjoying themselves including the
staff member coordinating the event. Cheryl introduced me to a computer
system designed for seniors that engages them in interactive and
innovative entertainment. It had touch screen technology and could be
connected to a very large screen for group activities.
As Cheryl further explained its features, it was very
clear that this program played a significant role in promoting a sense
of independence and self-esteem. A large and fully functional kitchen
allowed both breakfast and lunch to be served. Other services available
included Physical, Occupational, and Speech Therapy. A Nurse is always
on staff and works very closely with families to help maintain a healthy
and secure atmosphere.
When my visit ended, I left with a conclusion that Adult Day Health
was so much more than just another care related option. It reminded me
of a comfort zone serving not only its members but also families and
caregivers alike. It is a place that demonstrates its commitment to its
memory impaired members by accentuating educational and support programs
as well as through social interaction even under the most difficult and
challenging situations.
Cheryl mentioned that it takes a while for new members to
become acclimated to their new surroundings because they often fear that
they are never going to leave once they are dropped off. Therefore, when
greeting a member as they arrive, she would say enthusiastically
"Welcome to our club". As they would leave for the day, she would say
"Thank you for coming, we had a great day". I felt this type of
interaction not only provided a calming effect but also preserved the
dignity and respect of each individual. Organizations, such as Spectrum,
perform a valuable service for the community. I cannot think of a better
component of healthcare options that enables some of our more frail and
disabled adults the opportunity to maintain a very meaningful
relationship with those entrusted with their care and safety.
John
Macauda, Director/Saugus Office Geriatric Assistance Inc.
Providing Geriatric Home Care and Senior Services in the North Shore,
Merrimack Valley, and Southern New Hampshire
GETTING
BUSY
If you are a fan of the movie Shawshank Redemption that was released
in 1994, you may remember the line delivered by the character Andy
Dushane (Tim Robbins) to Red (Morgan Freeman) on the eve of Andy's
successful escape from prison. Stymied by the corrupt Warden's
pertinacity in keeping him incarcerated despite evidence that he was
falsely convicted of murder, Andy stated to Red that he had a choice
"Either he had to get busy living or get busy dying".
Despite the dreadful ordeal of his imprisonment, his twenty year plan and
eventual escape demonstrated a capacity on his part to think beyond the
walls of a hopeless and forbidden existence. He was determined to
reclaim his freedom despite the near impossibility of succeeding. He
took what was given to him and in the end was triumphant. It was a great
movie which embodied the never give up attitude with a thought provoking
ending.
You may ask the question as to why I chose to write about this movie's
notable quote and how it may have some relevance in how we forge through
through life. My answer is simple. We have choices on what path we
choose to take that could determine the quality on how we live our
lives.
From our younger years and through middle age, work, taking care of our
families, maintaining a healthy life style and in general meeting all
the challenges that life presents to us seemed to keep us so busy. We
were happy and and for the most part we could declare that life was
good. The years passed and all of a sudden we woke up one morning
realizing that we actually had retired, the children had left the nest
sometime ago, and that the annoying effects of aches and pains served as
a reminder that we had become older adults. For those that were beset
with illness and unable to to care for themselves, trying to continue
living a more meaningful life became more exhausting. Though we tried to
keep a positive outlook on what lay ahead in our future, in many ways
some of us gave up.
Excuses had begun to take the place for actions. In essence, we chose a
passive attitude in how we lived our lives. Could this not be considered
a passing of a life once filled with enthusiasm and purpose? Normal
aging and personal hardships may indeed alter certain aspects of our
lives. However, it should not deter our moral obligation to be
persistent in making the most of all the years God has given us. Get
busy enjoying the personal interests you use to have, make new friends
and challenge your mind often. As I stated earlier, we have choices that
determine the character of our lives in our more vulnerable years. The
good life is still before us just as Andy found out.
John Macauda Director/Saugus Office Geriatric Assistance Inc.
Providing Geriatric Home Care and Senior Services in the North Shore,
Merrimack Valley, and Southern New Hampshire
The Gift of Aging
The title of this
column probably has my readers wondering if I have lost my
mind. In a culture that venerates the joys and energy of
youthfulness, how could I possibly applaud the journey most
of us take as we transition toward our maturation and
beyond? What satisfaction could we possibly maintain as our
hair grays or vanishes, wrinkles appear where a once
flawless complexion graced the mirror, and let us not forget
the few extra pounds that changed the physical appearance of
our bodies?
Those that have suddenly found themselves in the
inveterate position of being physically challenged are
certainly no less happier. At this point, you are most
likely wondering how this gift that some associate with lack
of vitality and uselessness is manifested. In order to
perceive this notion, you must look beyond the most
formidable years as only a youthful lifestyle and appearance
can bring. Only then will you fully appreciate that aging is
a natural process not to be associated with fear and
apprehension.
Let me begin by quoting Aristotle. He said
" Happiness involves progress, it involves improving our
skills, getting better at what we do well, and learning
through experience". Now think back for a moment. Did we not
spend the first half of our lives trying to accomplish what
Aristotle identified with happiness? We were younger then
and of course had to wrestle with immaturity as well as
learning the hard way that speaking less and listening more
is a good guide to live by.
Oh my! Think of the precious time we wasted away
on trying to find ourselves. I think by now you get the
picture. Here we are, many of us are either approaching the
twilight of our lives or already there. Most of us have
discovered the meaning of happiness and how we got there.
Aging taught us how to use our time well and make better
decisions based on sound judgment and experience. The
enormous energy we spent for so many years in pursuit of our
ambitions has undergone some significant changes. Do we not
place a higher value on a more meaningful relationship with
our family and close friends? I certainly think that we do.
Surely, getting older means losing
some of our youthful strength and even having to depend on
others for help. However, we have learned that a sharp mind,
creative nature, and a zest to live becomes a lighting rod
to our children and grandchildren. We may not realize it,
but, they are observing us and at times wonder what will
they be like when their time comes. Without a doubt, we are
serving as role models and have an influence on those we
love the most.
If we did not age, our lives
would have no meaning, memories, or any true sense of
accomplishment. Aging allows us the opportunity to
experience the prominence of all three. A gift is an award
or special ability that is granted to an individual that has
done a good deed or achieved a milestone in their lives that
has been recognized by their peers. Value this gift that far
too many never had the good chance of receiving.
John Macauda Director/Saugus Office Geriatric Assistance
Inc.
Providing Geriatric Home Care and Senior Services in the
North
Shore, Merrimack Valley, and Southern New Hampshire
Benefits of Planning
My
Last two columns focused on long term care options and what
the costs might be for each. In addition, I attempted to
give my readers an understanding of the services and
benefits that Medicare and Medicaid provide as well as do
not provide when long term care issues suddenly become a
major concern. Remember that old adage "Failure to plan is a
plan to fail"? Perhaps we can apply this same inference to
an indifferent attitude that many of us have toward
preparing for any long term care possibilities as we age. A
blaring statistic that I obtained on a Health and Human
Service site stated that 70% of individuals over age 65 will
require at least some long term care services in their
lifetime. Over 40% will need care in a nursing home. Most
people purchase life insurance so that those left behind are
not burdened with debt and uncertainty. In my opinion,
preparing to meet long term care challenges both financially
and emotionally bares the same weight as obtaining a
suitable life insurance policy. Let's find out why.
Planning ahead on a basic level allows greater dignity and
control and independence on how future needs are to be met.
Having no options except what others decide for us can
compound the emotional upheaval not only for the person
involved but also family and friends . Therefore, avoiding a
discussion on the topic with those closest to you because of
its uncomfortable nature is probably one of the worst
decisions you can make. Nobody wants to think about getting
older, perhaps developing a disabling injury or disease that
makes us completely dependent on others. But, as I have
stated on numerous occasions in previous articles, aging is
a process with unpredictable outcomes.
Let us assume for the moment that you have accepted the fact
that having a plan to meet tomorrows care needs is a very
good idea. You should then focus on what type of care your
income and assets can actually support. Those with the most
money usually have more choices. Finding a good attorney
that can explain concepts such as health savings accounts,
reverse mortgages, asset transfers, and personal savings
will help you understand which options might be best for
your particular situation. Moreover, you may want to become
more familiar with the importance of designating someone as
your health care proxy or having a living will drawn up.
Another option to consider is purchasing long term care
insurance. Depending on your policy, this insurance could
help with services provided in continuing care communities,
adult day care, and assisted livings. As in any type of
insurance policies, read it very carefully and know the
scope of your coverage. Before committing to a plan, I would
consult with an attorney. The older you become, the premium
costs become more expensive. If you are a disabled veteran,
you may qualify for some long term care benefits. Call the
Veterans Administration and get the full details.
Again, Medicare does not pay for long term care and Medicaid
has eligibility restrictions. Remember that you are never
too old or for that matter too young to plan for your future
health care needs. I will end with a quote taken from the
National Care Planning Council that I believe will give you
cause for thought. "The failure of the current
pre-retirement generation to plan for long term care will
have an even greater future negative impact on our culture
and our families than the lack of planning does today".
John Macauda, Director/Saugus Office Geriatric
Assistance Inc.
Providing Geriatric Home Care and Senior Services in the
North Shore,
Merrimack Valley, and Southern New Hampshire
